not me:
its been tough lately pat, im trying to change that the best i can.
he claimed that he wasnt actually happy with her, actually he claimed alot of things, we'll see how those go for him lol
me:
bahah. good call.
yah. the wonderfulness that is facebook creepage.
and yah.. ive noticed bahaha. but its fine. people have lives. it just sucks sometimes not knowing whats going on with the ones back home, you know? so yah, whenever possible, or never if so be it. ive learned to roll with the punches and etc etc. im not exactly the same person as i was when i left..
and sounds like the same [name ommitted]
not me:
.i dont think anyones really the same person as when you left,
i dont think i am, contrary to how it might seem on fb.\ haha
me:
well.. hes a lost cause, i wouldnt bother dwelling on it.
and odd.. i knew my parting of ways would be change inducing but i didnt think it would cause a revolution of the minds.
anything specific i should expect in terms of personality in anyone?
and odd.. i knew my parting of ways would be change inducing but i didnt think it would cause a revolution of the minds.
anything specific i should expect in terms of personality in anyone?
not me:
umm....let me think about that.
at the moment im not too sure, but i think that when you come back, you will see and feel a difference. whether it be minor or major..
i think we're maturing, very slowly, but maturing none the less
at the moment im not too sure, but i think that when you come back, you will see and feel a difference. whether it be minor or major..
i think we're maturing, very slowly, but maturing none the less
me:
hmm.. kind of already feeling that oddly..
and anything with you?
and anything with you?
i miss being being young.. or what we consider 'young'.
not me:
aw pat, your growth in france, whether you like it or are a little apprehensive about it, is making me so proud of you.
i wish i was as strong as you, as intelligent, and quite simply put as beautiful as you.
im too scared of myself to sit and reflect with myself.i dont want to face me i think.. however i havent done anything that bad so i dont know why that is..
im glad in reality you will not actually be depressed,
however i think i might be..or have some type of thing going on..
not to freak you out or scare you
its under control of course haha i just think that might make some sense and fit into my equation.
me:
yah. im growing up.
it was less a painful process than i thought..
well actually thats a lie.
it was hard.
but yah. its nice to hear that actually..
ive been able to have a lot of experiences to jumpstart and speed up the process, sometimes despising that it happned to fast, sometimes relishing in that fact. but im only as strong as the ones around me have made me, as intelligent as the combined thought process of everything ive ever seen, and as beautiful as nature intends.
ive come to realize everything i have and will ever have will never be done completely alone and that i only am what i experience.
and it took a long time for me to come to this point thats for sure. a while back, i couldnt even look at myself in the mirror.. i wanted to be nonexistant in the most complete of ways.
but thats over and ive picked myself up.ive come to terms without a lot different things that make me.. me.
well..its not like ive been hiding anything.
and yah. depression sucks. but thats where i draw strength.. or at least where my strength is rooted.
but yah.
not me:
sorry pfids it was fam dinner,
although the fam part was stressed hahah
but pat i am honestly so thankful that we are both enduring these changes,
im so happy you are the brave, courageous person i always knew you were
you are a force to be reckoned with, and people will always respect you for that.
aw pat,
whatever you have come to terms with, i will accept and encourage and stand behind you on them 100%. you know more about me in this very moment then anyone else i talk to
i am always here for you, no matter what
through GAGA and KE$HA lyrics, to tears and sacred notes .. you're right though, it is over now
or atleast, is on that road to becoming over.
me:
hah.
but thats fine. i think im more thankful to be enduring with someone.. i cant imagine being alone through it.
and so are you. its something, if not right now, youll realize soon. i can feel it. my intuition is stronger than mosts.
and good. because im going to need it, and im going to need people who actually matter.. and i feel honoured to be the person youve entrusted with your feelings.
you also, besides myself, know what im all about.. you know my heart and my brain.
and yah, pretty much our lives. haha. and the thing about it being over, or rather on the road to becoming over. i feel like we're on that sort of path for a lot of things.. im sad.. but im also really excited to see what new paths we'll take.
and good. because im going to need it, and im going to need people who actually matter.. and i feel honoured to be the person youve entrusted with your feelings.
you also, besides myself, know what im all about.. you know my heart and my brain.
and yah, pretty much our lives. haha. and the thing about it being over, or rather on the road to becoming over. i feel like we're on that sort of path for a lot of things.. im sad.. but im also really excited to see what new paths we'll take.
not me:
i completely agree,if i knew i was the only one experiencing a change, id be even more scared of the potentiall outcomes.
i always trust your intuition, you are tapped into things that most people are oblivious to.
well even if you do lose people, for whatever reason, you will never lose me.
no matter what.
even if you killed someone, id help you make a strong aliby.thats all i want, for you to be comfortable and feel safe
because you always will be pat, you will always be safe here.
i love that i know those things, your heart and brain
and i want the same for you by the end of summer
because i know im a pretty confusing person haha
im sad too, but i think its only because ive never really tried to change things, ive always just accepted what life gives me even if its shit.
thats all i thought i was worthy of..
im dealing with that.
we'll find the right paths, we always do.
i just dont want your path to become a path with a flare to it,
i always trust your intuition, you are tapped into things that most people are oblivious to.
well even if you do lose people, for whatever reason, you will never lose me.
no matter what.
even if you killed someone, id help you make a strong aliby.thats all i want, for you to be comfortable and feel safe
because you always will be pat, you will always be safe here.
i love that i know those things, your heart and brain
and i want the same for you by the end of summer
because i know im a pretty confusing person haha
im sad too, but i think its only because ive never really tried to change things, ive always just accepted what life gives me even if its shit.
thats all i thought i was worthy of..
im dealing with that.
we'll find the right paths, we always do.
i just dont want your path to become a path with a flare to it,
me:
yah. lonliness scares me.
and im glad you trust it. Trust is probably the biggest thing i could ever ask from a person. Im honoured to have it.
And i dont want to lose you. I mean.. youve been a great friend and have helped me through this place we call highschool. this life we call drama.
Its safe to say i also trust you. i dont exactly give it out easily.. not with the things ive been through..
and i hope to god i never kill anyone :/.. i cant even imagine taking someone elses life.. i would probably take my own if i ever did that..
And I think I already have a good grasp on those.. I know that they are sporadic, for sure, but ive learned to adapt and take it in with each change. But again, things have changed so we will see. And the summer.. well.. i can guarantee itll be interesting.
and yah.. just accepting things the way they are is called apathy. its where most problems spring from. Ive never just 'accepted' things. I never could. Its partly why i am where i am today, why ive been so successfull in my endeavors of any kind.
and yah.. i suppsoe we do always find the right paths.. or at least most of us do. sometimes.. the journeys are just overwhelming and some people succumb to the things of that nature.
But the paths ahead of me right now are pretty clear.. i know what i have to do, where i have to go, who i have to be. or at least for a little bit.
And thats the beauty of life. Coming to a fork, a side path. Choosing whether or not to take it or continue where you were going. Im only young. And sometimes im going to choose the wrong path.. but i always know i can rely on you and others to lead me clear.
and im glad you trust it. Trust is probably the biggest thing i could ever ask from a person. Im honoured to have it.
And i dont want to lose you. I mean.. youve been a great friend and have helped me through this place we call highschool. this life we call drama.
Its safe to say i also trust you. i dont exactly give it out easily.. not with the things ive been through..
and i hope to god i never kill anyone :/.. i cant even imagine taking someone elses life.. i would probably take my own if i ever did that..
And I think I already have a good grasp on those.. I know that they are sporadic, for sure, but ive learned to adapt and take it in with each change. But again, things have changed so we will see. And the summer.. well.. i can guarantee itll be interesting.
and yah.. just accepting things the way they are is called apathy. its where most problems spring from. Ive never just 'accepted' things. I never could. Its partly why i am where i am today, why ive been so successfull in my endeavors of any kind.
and yah.. i suppsoe we do always find the right paths.. or at least most of us do. sometimes.. the journeys are just overwhelming and some people succumb to the things of that nature.
But the paths ahead of me right now are pretty clear.. i know what i have to do, where i have to go, who i have to be. or at least for a little bit.
And thats the beauty of life. Coming to a fork, a side path. Choosing whether or not to take it or continue where you were going. Im only young. And sometimes im going to choose the wrong path.. but i always know i can rely on you and others to lead me clear.
also.. this conversation helped me tremendously in identifying the changes im going through. If i hadnt had this.. i dont think i would be aware of them. It forced me to think and dwell on everything ive experienced here in france and in my life.
and contrary to my last post. i havent been happier :)
oh, and pb.
because i decided to be cool and inventive and write pb meaning post-blog instead of ps meaning post-signature,
i have another blog too. its for everything else.
checkitoutcheckitout check. it. out.