beautiful bias.

These city confinements are crushing me. Living in a small town is bad enough as it is, but when you have higher dreams and aspirations, a population of 18 500 won't do much for you. Oh Thorold, how I love thee. The other T Dot as some call it, when in reality all I long for is to actualy be in the real t dot. Toronto that is. This is Canada for goodness sake. Los Angeles or New York would be a little unrealistic... erm.. more unrealisitic.
But lets face it. Theres really not much to do here in the Niagara peninsula. Sure i could go see the falls, or look at the canal. But I've done that. I need bigger. Better. I used to have all these plans about getting famous and leaving here for 'the big city'. Making it big. Seeing my name in lights. Seeing ME projected by lights. I had it all planned out. Step one. Get an agent.

Okay, so thats been an epic fail. I still don't have an agent, even after 6 years of planning.

Step 2. Get my big break. Also yet to happen..

Its safe to say that this dream has fizzled. majorly. But yet, I cant seem to get it out of my head. Its ALWAYS there. Like something that needs to be dealt with immediately, or it will persist. Whenever I think about me and the future, fame is always included in the path. I can lie to myself, which i usually do, and say I'll go to university, and get a career in the real world, and be successful that way. But I know that im lieing. The thing is. I want fame. I NEED fame. It seems to be apart of me now, which is starnge for someone who has never had it.

I see these young actors and singers and dancers, and i envy them. i am filled with jealousy, and compare myself to them (me always coming out unscathed). "Oh man, I couldv'e done that way better". Story of my life. But i know that I'll probably never get the chance to actually prove that.

And as I'm stuck in dream world, life goes on. Hollywood waits for no one... unless of course, you were born into the business, or you bought the time becasue you were born into a rich family, or because your parents pimped you out from birth.

And boy do I wish my parents pimped me.

So for now, I am still looking for that special someone.. ahem.. agent that is. And then maybe my dreams might become illuminated in reality as they always have been in my mindless slumbers.