first class uneasiness.

Currently 4:55 p.m. as I write this sentence.  And I am going to try to keep this grammatically and structurely sound.

So I haven't blogged in a while.. and thats because I haven't been motivated to write anything.. what the hell is wrong with me?!
Really though, I have never been to anti everything before.  I don't want to get up in the morning, I don't want to go to bed at night, I don't want to eat, I don't want to text, I don't want to do photography, I don't want to blog, and I don't even want to go on facebook.. is this what they call depression?  Well.. I certainly hope not because that would suck major.
But I think I'm happy enough? I mean, I don't FEEL sad, or mad, or anything.. actually.. I don't really feel anything.  I'm kind of numb..

Except when I have reason to be.  This is going to sound like it's contradicting previously written sentences.. because it does..  I feel happy when I'm with my friends, when I'm looking at my little sister laugh and discover new things, etc.. but in those inbetween bits and whatelses, I feel nothing..

That may sound as if I'm crazy and belong in a psych ward, but it won't make sense to you unless it's happening to you, I think.

But enough with that.

This week is going to be nuts, crazy, and all those other words.  It's new year's week which means I have something going on every single day.   EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.    How am I going to survive?
Last night commenced the festivities, with a big holiday bash at my good friend M.R.'s house. I had a good time.  Yelled at some people and made situations extremely awkward pineapple.  But, had a good time nonetheless.
Then this morning, I went for a wonderfully delicious brunch with fellow G Crew members.. which seems to dwindle every time we get together..  I'll  have to blog about them sometime in the future, because that group of people literally changed my life.

France Update
So, I am going on exchange to France this February to May and my hosting experience didn't go so well, i.e. the blog about the exchange student.  BUT, I got my rematch.  I will be travelling to Marigny les Usages, a small town close to Orleans (1.5 hours south west of Paris).  And, unfortunately.. I'm not all that excited..

After going through what I did for three months of hosting, I have kind of been turned off..  my excitement no longer exists.. I'm even procrastinating getting all my paper work done :|
The thing is, I don't know the kid I'm going to live with so I know nothing about his family or his personality or whether or not we will get along.. Maybe I'm just stressing too much.. I hope.  I also hope I get excited about this whole experience.